jesus, 4 posts in the month of february. and this is called "daily musings," right? my ass. i'm kinda busy, but not THAT busy, y'know?

shit, let's see what i've been up to since feb 16th... i turned 22, that's something, right? link to alayna and lauren's blogs for more info if ya give a crap. i'm thinking what else has gone on...

i picked up an HP iPaq h1945 the other day using some birthday/valentine's related cash. so i'm one step closer to being a certified computer science dork, i guess. i dunno, it'll help me get organized, or at the very least let me play videos in class, heh. i half-talked lauren into getting a gamecube herself, so she picked one up along with sonic heroes. that was a good move on her part, she should have plenty of fun with it in her dorm. i picked up final fantasy: crystal chronicles, only played it for like an hour so far (is this really surprising anymore?). seems pretty decent, nice graphics and everything, just hafta see how much i get into it. back years ago for ps1, i got into FF7 for a while, but shit man as much fun as i had i didn't even stick with it past the first disc. btw, a game should not have 3 goddamn discs, alright? final fantasy always has badass characters tho, sheeeat...

i also got the director's series dvd's of michel gondry, chris cunningham and spike jonze. they're all my type of shit, just mostly my favorite music videos with good commentary and supplements. i also pre-ordered kill bill vol 1, the matrix revolutions (really only to round out my trilogy) and the first (and only) season of playmakers. i'm interested in the new bond game for GC, everything or nothing. we'll see.

i picked up a cheap $10 neon CPU fan for veritas and so far it's worked like a goddamn charm. so now i've got veritas and aequitas running problem-free side-by-side and it's been great so far. i've kept the linux box just busy all the type downloading torrents, mostly tv shows. can't get bored now, got shows like dead like me, arrested development, curb your enthusiasm, sealab 2021, home movies and alias stockpiled. i've also downloaded a bunch of decent albums lately, like:

feeder - comfort in sound
fountains of wayne - welcome interstate managers
incubus - a crow left of the murder
jet - get born
the white stripes - life on the flipside
all 3 veruca salt albums
zebrahead - mfzb
five for fighting - the battle for everything
stereolab - margerine eclipse
zero 7 - when it falls
gus gus - this is normal
the vines - winning days
lost in translation OST
clerks OST

slowly but surely (believe me, i spend more time getting more shit than actually using what i've got) i'm making some progress on my interests. i'm happy to have just 5 more cowboy bebop episodes left. great series and all, but c'mon, ready to move on. noir's good, i've watched a couple of those now. getting close to halfway through hellsing, which has also been pretty impressive. i got a couple of highly recommended anime movies as well, like nausicaa of the valley of the wind and laputa castle in the sky.

i've been doing my best not to let school drag me down. without fail, every semester here there's always been some point where you feel pretty down and that every class is kicking your ass somehow. i'm trying to take it all a little less seriously this time around to avoid that, and so far it's pretty much worked. sure i'd love to have some astronomical gpa, but the important thing is i'm locked for a job and i've done pretty well overall. gotta send a quick 'fuck you' to any 4.0 students in their last semester. there's no way i could keep up that in my last semester if i've got a job lined up.

things haven't really gotten much better on the social front, but i try not to let it get me down as much as last semester. i'm spending less time trying to convince unwilling acquaintances to go out and do something, not sure if i'll go out of my way from now till graduation to change that or not.

that's actually one reason why i've been avoiding entering into my blog. looking back i'm sure everybody thought i vented too much on here about the frustrations i was having with other people and honestly i don't really know how much good it did me to tell everyone about it. compared to last semester, i can say i don't try my hardest anymore being social around here. often i sleep weird hours that alienate me from other people and i don't care. i don't know what other people wanna do cuz i've already tried in the past to suggest things and get nowhere.

i don't want to come across like i won't miss being here, cuz i will. i've had some great times here and everything and i'll remember 'em for quite a while. but it's not like me to dwell over stuff like that too long. i'm too realistic of a person to just be able to look back at these 4 years and know that despite any academic triumphs, in a social sense it was mostly a disaster. never had any problems getting girlfriends or anything, but ya can't spend all your time with one person. that'll be my greatest lesson learned from college i think. i appreciate everyone's comments regarding joining organizations and trying to branch out and such, but that's not exactly what i'm looking for. in k-12, i never had any problems finding friends with common interests as mine and thus building a decent friendship. just tired of the idea that you've gotta sell yourself to people at this stage just to become friends. friends i've made like hoang and rick, i don't have to try with those guys. i'm myself and they're themselves and we don't hold back what we're into and what we don't like. none of it is sugar-coated and that's exactly what i want. i'm not really looking for the on-the-surface bullshit where i can't tell you how i feel about certain things and actually talk to you.

i'm pretty happy here with about 2 and a half months till graduation. the only thing that gets me down is knowing that everyone else will have to say goodbye to all the friends they've made here, while i won't have to do much of that. i've met hundreds of people (yes, hundreds) at a&m that i knew personally for maybe 4 months at a time and then never talked to 'em again. not exactly the kinda people you give one last handshake or hug to.

eh, who knows. nobody's really listening anyway.

rgds,
justin