today's inane ranting and raving is for those who have lived with a roommate (y'know, like in college and shit). i've been living in my apartment since the end of august and at this point it's sorta funny seeing how things seem to play out between me and my roommate. most of the apartment complexes will do their best around here to pair up two potluck people the best they can based on how they sorta live, like how neat they are, how late they stay up, etc. so far it almost seems like this guy made up all that shit on his application to the apartment. it's not really that he's not somewhat neat or a nice guy at all, it's that i simply don't understand the decisions he makes. i guess they don't really have an IQ field on the application, but shit at this point i sorta wish they had.

lately it's been just a goofy string of behavior. things like overly odd sleeping patterns (now admittedly, anyone that really knows me that well knows i must have the oddest), such as not having class till like 3pm but still going to bed before midnight, then waking up at like 9am and not having a damn thing to do for several hours before his class. i know i'm in the vast minority here, but here's what i'd do -- not go to bed till like a good 4 or 5am, then wake up at maybe noon or 1am, get me a healthy lunch, then be ready with plenty of time to go until your class. i'm a 4th year engineering student here at a&m, so forgive me for coming across as a little pompous, but i know what makes a good or bad schedule, and i'm sick of hearing him bitch about his schedule. 3 days (no, not a misprint) of the week that bastard doesn't have to be in class till 3pm and he's back each time no later than 6pm. tuesdays if i remember right he's done by like noon and it's the thursday night lab from 6:30 till 9-something that he feels gives him the fuel to bitch about his tough academic life. i'm sorry, but that's what separates a seasoned college student from a relative newbie. without coming across as superior, he needs to realize his position and not mention it at all. he's got 14 hours, pretty standard and everything, a solid schedule where he can sleep in real late if he so chooses and yet he chooses to focus on the 1 night of the week he has to stay on campus late.

i know it sounds like i'm harping on a relatively minor thing, but oddly that sort of scenario really kind of shapes our entire relationship as roommates. i get the vibe there's a sense of disdain from both of us in the apt, and neither of us has the interest in actually admitting it. this sort of constant mood combined with a general lack of anything real in common just makes it awkward every time we're in the apt together and not occupied with our own things. it's almost completely palpable in the living room and kitchen -- we just don't mesh socially. y'know those kinds of people that almost have to go out of their way to say something just to break the silence? he's one of those people and i'm obviously not. so that can makes for some goofy circumstances at times. the other day, i'm reheating some leftover pizza, he sees me doing so, looks me in the eye, laughs and says "pizza!" and you can sort of imagine my complete lack of knowing what the hell to say to that. sometimes we'll be in the middle of a 5 minute conversation and i'll realize the only thing i've said for the last 4 minutes is "yeah" or nodded my head. i'm sorry, but that's sort of an indicator that we just don't click.

i guess you kinda have to tell yourself, it doesn't really matter, you're just sharing an apartment, you're not expected to become best friends. heh, good. i know i have some high standards sometimes, but i'd never become friends with a guy like this if he were just in a class or whatever purely based on the difference in apparent intelligence. i know we're relatively young (i'm 21 and he's 20 i think) but by this point in life you simply have to know more about how to live on your own than he does. the things he puts in the dishwasher... i don't even know what logic is working there. there are more dishes and silverware in the sink than there are pots and pans, because he keeps the dishes in the sink and puts the cookware in the dishwasher. okay, well that's weird enough. but then he'll run the dishwasher when it's only about 1/4 full. it's a good thing we don't have to pay for water, y'know? more and more examples like that pile up each week.

okay, so these are mostly just idiot things that don't really suggest anything about his mood or relative sanity. but then last night alayna and i were here fuckin around like any usual weekend night, and we realize he had been in his room the whole time we were home. we had gotten here a little after 11pm, the door was locked and his door was closed with no sign of lights on inside. once again, my 4th year here, never seen anything like that. so you can't blame me for wondering over and over what the hizzy influences somebody to go to bed on a saturday night in college station at 11pm. the only way we even found this out was when he went to the bathroom at about 12:30 when alayna had been making noise in the kitchen emptying the vacuum cleaner. i figure he's gotta be either bored or depressed or some kind of combination of the two. at this point in college with 16 hours of my own in a highly technical semester, i don't have time to cheer somebody up or to take somebody i don't know very well out to bust up with a couple beers or introduce to a hot girl. it wouldn't shock me if he's got a little underlying disdain for me since i never seem to be as bored or lonely as him and i'm the one with the pretty girl coming over 3 times a week, making mudslides in the kitchen and such without a care in the world. maybe when i was a sophomore i would have cared, but at this point? nah man, fuck him. most people i've been close to have admitted they think i can be a little uppity at times and this might be a prime example of that, but nothing says i have to put up with that kinda shit from anybody.

i guess that kind of sums up the rant, i guess maybe my point is roommates can be tough to live with, but i'll be damned if they make any kind of dent into how happy i'm gonna be overall. in a social environment sometimes we're forced to small talk and such to kill some awkwardness and pretend we all get along, but i'll be damned if i'm gonna do it in my own home.

i'll tell ya more later,
justin