Tuesday, March 30, 2004

back up in your ass with the resurrection.

dude, hoang finally posted! and brad's blog seems to have some activity again! shit man, i had thought everybody had gotten worn out on blogs or something, cuz several people seemed to have stopped posting for a good while. guess it just depends on how busy they are. or on whether they wanna share what's going on. one of those.

as per usual, i'm avoiding more homework assignments this week. and then i apparently had some group meeting for 489 tonight, but nobody every told me about it, so..... eh fuck that. it's almost cute how much some of the other guys give a shit about 489 when we seriously have a 95% CHANCE OF GETTING AN A!!! i think everybody thinks i'm really lazy in there but seriously when you see a GPA distribution from the last few years that's so high you think "man, what the fuck do i have to do just to drop down to a B in there?" so yeah i'm towing the line like mad in there, and don't feel the least bit bad about it.

my sister's birthday is this weekend, but i think i'm gonna go home the next weekend instead. i've got to start writing a speech this weekend, and i've got an automata test on wednesday that i gotta start preppin for, so easter weekend looks better for me. i've got to decide over whichever weekend i'm going home where i'm signing a lease, cuz i'd like to have it signed by april 15th to give me about a month till i have to move in after school's over.

this weekend was fairly humdrum, just that nothing really big happened i guess. actually got proper sleep this time around, so that was a positive. like fucking usual, we got turned down at the damn theater here in town. we tried to see the saturday night 9:55 showing of eternal sunshine for the spotless mind, but they told us they had only 12 seats left and we prolly wouldn't be able to sit together. that's worthy of a rant, so lemme sidetrack.

it doesn't take rocket fuckin science -- we need more than one movie theater in bryan/college station. i don't understand why that's not on the top of their list of shit they need to build around here. go to hollywood USA on 6 on any friday or saturday night, it's always packed, man. it's mostly high school kids too, which is a damn shame in a college town. yeah that's right, we have 400 tanning salons, we've rebuilt several places, like copy corner, wings n more and fuddruckers, added places like home depot, world market and bed, bath & beyond, but we only have one goddamn theater! they added stadium seating, which is an improvement, but it still doesn't help the fact that too many damn movies sell out. i realize friday and saturday nights are the primetime for movies to sell out, but honestly, when the hell else do i have time to go to the movies? i can't go during the week cuz i've got, y'know, classes and shit, and i can't go during the day on the weekends cuz most of that time i'm fast asleep. don't wanna sound uppity, i just think when you're 22 years old and you're living the typical senior collegeboy lifestyle, you should be able to go see an IMDb top 100 movie at the local theater!

it was pretty funny though how alayna jumped outta bed when she heard i had super mario world on my SNES emulator. i picked up a $15 gravis gamepad pro over the weekend at best buy, which makes ZSNES a lot more fun with all the classic super nintendo games. she didn't even stop for like an hour man, she was all possessed. she can be pretty fun with gamecube games when she's at all interested, but i've never seen her put this much focus into it. hell, she even played it again tonight. i gotta admit, it's fun just bringing back memories with games like super mario kart, super mario world, link to the past, f-zero and the donkey kong games. it's funny how the music in those games just immediately takes you back to your childhood. video games were simpler then... as advanced as we are these days, just gotta give respect to the 8 and 16-bit games we were raised on.

i had to pass up on the $30 SSX3 deal at best buy. i wanted it and all, but i gotta play the games i already got, man. i've played a few hours of zelda: wind waker the past couple days, going back and doing all the semi-unnecessary shit before i finish the game off. it's almost a shame that i consider that game like a good 9.8 out of 10, but i'll prolly never play it again cuz i've got too many other things to do. after that i think it's onto pikmin, metroid prime and star fox adventures, with hopefully some multiplayer mario kart in there as well. i'm kinda stuck on what i should do about final fantasy: crystal chronicles. hoang had told me it was a fun multiplayer game when everybody's using a GBA, but uh... well i don't know anybody that would wanna play that with me and i don't even know who the hell else even has a GBA. i dunno, i'm gonna try playing it a bit more and try to make some fun out of it by myself, but i'm thinking if it's not that great i should consider selling that and maybe a couple more games on ebay or to a used games store. as cool as it is racking up a bunch of games for display and elitism, it's kind of a waste to have a game sitting on your shelf that you have no intention of playing.

i've been putting more effort into what i call my dnbMD project. i've basically got like 6gb of vinyl drum n bass rips from '98-03 that i need to put somewhere else, so i've gone through them, selected what i think needed keeping, and they all go onto MDs. looks like it'll take about ~15 MDs and a bit of work, but it's worth it to clear off that space and even more worth it just to feel like i accomplished something i've meant to do for a while now.

i was thrilled to find vhs rips of the maxx from a few years ago, as well as scans of several of the comics. i had them before, but i was missing like 40 minutes worth, so it was almost useless having it. for some reason i'm collecting season 3 alias episodes, when i haven't even watched any of season 1 yet. i think i'm just mesmerized by jennifer garner or something.

i can't seem to watch several back-to-back episodes of anything these days, so i've been spreading things around. been mostly home movies lately, in random order for the most part. i've fallen behind a bit on animes, but i'm completely caught up on arrested development. i've missed a few john henson project episodes, but after watching the latest, i can't say i've missed much. sad to say i think i can't stand about 3/4 of each episode. just tries too hard to be geared only towards guys, and it's only henson's natural humor that keeps me coming back at all. i'm also losing a little patience with aqua teen hungerforce, only cuz when i'm watching it (all what, 11 minutes?) i can't help but think i'd rather be watching something else. i don't bother tivo'ing sealab 2021 anymore since i got all the episodes a couple weeks ago.

lately, alayna and i have kept up with survivor: all-stars, scrubs and airline. been kinda goofy with this long break for ER and friends, but i guess it's let us focus on other things. we'll prolly be back to pizza/beer/tv nights this week tho with a new survivor and ER on thursday night.

i'm also in the middle of the book high fidelity, which is one of my favorite movies. great so far.

guess that brings us up to speed...

--justin

Friday, March 26, 2004

not too much new really.

it's that annoying student government elections time of year. heh i remember when i hated it last year. and the year before that. oh yeah and freshmen year, woo that was a doozy. it's a godawful time of the semester, no joke. i'm not gonna go all into it, just stating how much of a bitch it is just to walk around campus in late march/early april at this university.

in april i'm gonna start my personal photo account of my semester. i think it's gonna feel pretty cheesy and people are gonna think i'm touring the school when they see me taking pictures of shit, but i just wanna take a bunch of pictures on my normal routes to classes and shit to sorta show other people and help me remember in a few years what daily life is/was like in my senior year. it hasn't been especially memorable or anything, just wanna show where i go and what i do to finish off getting my degree.

it's just kinda felt like... lonely here lately. i feel like i've spent a lot of time in my apartment, and i've either got no one else here or i've got a roommate that never says anything along with his girlfriend here holed up in his room. i've found that i end up sometimes just sorta aimlessly pacing around the apartment with music up pretty loud. i dunno, i'll be living on my own soon anyway, guess i'm just getting a taste of it now. college is supposed to be more about having cool roommates and hanging out in your apartment/dorm or whatever though. guess those days are gone though, oh well.

at least the weekend's here.

--justin

Monday, March 22, 2004

alright, i've sat down with my soft batch cookies and a coke, time to finally bang out my spring break recap.

before i start, i should just issue the disclaimer that i'm fairly sure i've forgotten parts of it, any week of the year it's hard to remember what you did 7 days ago, so bear with me.

[follow along with photos here]

as i mentioned last time, spring break '04 involved going on a carnival cruise to mexico with alayna & co. she & i left out of college station for san antonio friday afternoon and packed all our stuff up with her parents. saturday morning i met the other people going along with us on the cruise, and the 5-car convoy took off for galveston. after the usual paperwork and shit we got on the boat, which was about what i expected i suppose.

at first on the ship we were completely lost, never really knew where we were most of the time. we got used to the semi-cramped sleeping quarters and bathroom pretty quickly. right away on the first night we were in the dining room semi-dressed up and sharing a table with like 10 people i'd only met a few hours before. there really wasn't much to do since most of the day was already blown, so we snapped a few pics on the deck and looked through the lounges and shit.

the next day, sunday, alayna & i sat out on the lido deck, which would become mistake #1 of the cruise. you've heard this story a million times, but we should have just sat out in the sun for 20 minutes on our backs, 20 minutes on our fronts. instead, i was trying to finish off a novel and we both ended up falling asleep at certain points and we were out there for a good 2 hours. suddenly i didn't have to worry about being self-conscious about being too white anymore, now more like too fuckin red. it was pretty obvious right afterwards and at dinner that night that we (read: me mostly) were sunburned decently. i knew that wasn't gonna help us with the next couple days on beaches.

that night was our formal night, so i threw on the suit & tie and alayna in her little black dress and we took some decent photos. plus the waitstaff observed the newman's 25th wedding anniversary.

monday morning we arrived in cozumel. we immediately starting snapping pics of the crazy turqoise water and palm trees on our way to meet up with our jeep tour. we took off from puerta maya (the pier we docked at) in a convoy of multi-colored jeeps bound for passion island, about a 6 hour adventure total. the ride there was interesting, we got to see firsthand just how mexican the place was, heh. it was about how i'd imagine the city streets might be. we went through the city closer to the beaches and went through some rocky areas en route to our boat to take us to passion island. it was great once we got to the island, they served us tasty mexican food and had an open bar, plus the beach/water was by far the nicest i've ever been to. we seized the opportunity and played around on the beach and just relaxed, just the two of us. they even gathered us all up to play a waterballoon game on the beach, in which each round you got a healthy squirt of tequila sunrise for encouragement. alayna and i made it to the final round, but as she tossed the waterballoon over her head she threw it more up than out so i had to make a desperate dive for what i knew i'd never get to. but we had plenty of fun doing it at least.

what ended up being the most memorable moment of the cruise for me was just alayna and i sitting on the passion island beach, she sipping a sex on the beach and me with a corona with a lime. after that we packed up and headed back to the port, where i got to drive with the locos on ghetto boulevard, mopeds and bikes just whizzing by and getting way too close to you.

later that night we got onto a catamaran to just cruise around and watch the sun go down over the water. for whatever reason that trip wasn't very popular and it seemed like they only had about like a 1/4 of the capacity they thought they'd have. we knew it'd be open bar, but i didn't think it would be *that* open. they gave you three choices: superior beer, margaritas and pepsi. after i sucked down 2 superiors a little too quick, i took a liking to alayna's margarita (surprisingly good, we usually don't like 'em when they're just loaded with tequila) so i had a couple myself. obviously, i don't remember how many beers and drinks i had, cuz it all went to my head fairly quickly. it was fun though. got some good pics of the sunset too, and me and my trusty margarita cup.

little did i know the alcohol from earlier would come back to haunt me, haha. since we were done with our real excursions for the day, we decided to go into cozumel to go to the world-famous (well...) carlos n charlie's bar/restaurant, with the intention of maybe visiting senor frogs and fat tuesday's as well. it started off as a disaster (i think the liquor was talking for me or something, i had some fucked up logic, man) cuz alayna was saying we should maybe try to take a taxi to c n c's, and i'm all "nah man, let's just walk!" which was like... stupid. for some reason i thought it was a helluva lot closer than it was, cuz we ended up walking in the middle of fuck nowhere, which is sort of a bad idea in a foreign country when you have a pretty girl next to you and $200 in your pocket. there was like nobody around, except several stray dogs just roaming along on the streets next to us. we were definitely spooked, so i hailed a cab and we gladly paid our $5 (again, why didn't i just pay that? beats me man, like i said, the liquor...) and went into the loudest fucking bar/restaurant i've ever goddamn been to. we sat down and the table next to us had a bunch of high school babies (remember, 18 yr old drinking age) just getting bombed, with several of the waiters smacking them on the ass with a paddle or something like every 30 seconds. we definitely wanted to drink, so alayna got a daquiri (or something) and i got a sea breeze for a change. yeah we were expecting normal goddamn drinks, not that huge weird plastic cup they give you. they call it a yard, but they might as well call it a bong, cuz that's what it looked like. cost 12 fuckin bucks, and for that price we should have gotten a dimebag with the fuckin things.

they had awesome food, but i pissed all over it drinking that sea breeze just a few hours after all that earlier drinking, cuz halfway into my beef tacos i was all kinds of spacy. completely lost my appetite and now the place seemed even louder. alayna was semi-peeved about it but she seemed to get over it pretty quick and she bought a t-shirt. we toyed with going upstairs to senor frogs, but i had no interest in any more shenanigans or drinking. we taxi'ed back to the port and she bought another shirt from fat tuesday's, while i trudged along in ultimate indifference. at the duty-free shop somehow i was coherent enough to spot good buys: a $25 bottle of cointreau and $10 for some bacardi rum.

in hindsight even though it was pretty fun we should have done cozumel PM hours a little different. i should have been more sober going into it so i could have gotten drunk *at* the bigshit clubs instead of on a $39 catamaran ride with all-you-can-drinks. oh well, live in learn.

of course, i get back and pass out in our stateroom, while unknowingly to me the rest of our group partied on the lido deck. kinda funny seeing alayna and some of the rest doing a conga line on the stateroom tv the next day, and i'm all asking everybody "say man, when the fuck did *this* happen?"

the next day we arrived at calica, which is how you can get to playa del carmen. alayna and i went with a group and bussed to paamul beach and snorkeled. it was a fun experience, took a little getting used to but it was worth it, fun to see all the fish swimming right around you and seeing the delicate reefs and such. afterwards we were sorta forced to lay on the beach some more, and i say forced only cuz i was so goddamn sunburned by this point. we got back to the room a little after noon and i knew that was it for sun for the rest of the cruise.

that night was pretty vicious, i think everybody knew i was red all over but nobody really realized how uncomfortable i was. luckily i wasn't nauseous or headachy, but my skin just plain hurt everywhere and i was no fun to be around at all. i felt back for alayna cuz she just wanted to hang out and do a little bit of everything on the boat, but i was so irritable cuz it just hurt to move and all i wanted to do was lay in the room and read or sleep, but i knew that'd be kind of a party pooper.

the last day on the ship was pretty much the most mellow of them all, which is what i needed for sure. it was st patrick's day, so several of us wore the green shirts that alayna's mom got us, that was kinda fun. out on the deck i sucked down a whiskey sour (had several of those on the cruise) and tried a beck's, which was alright. at dinner that night it was kinda unique cuz the waitstaff sung "happy graduation" to brant and his buds and to alayna & i. we got a cake and a champagne toast and all.

brant & co. had sung karaoke ("take on me") the night before, so we went to go see 'em the next night. several of the girls in the group also got up and sang "we were family" too. had to have a guiness there to mark the holiday, heh. props to the guys to ball up and go sing karaoke, just that it got a little old and with the sunburn and shit i wasn't as festive as everybody prolly wanted.

thursday morning was mostly just going through customs and packing everything up, then the 4 hour drive back to san antonio. we ate mexican and watched sex & the city episodes thursday night in SA, then drove to CS on friday.

as far as my opinion of the cruise overall. for the most part, it's pretty positive. the crew was all really polite and did a great job, most of the food was pretty good (as you'd expect). 5 days is about right for me, the 3-day seems like a waste and 7 days sounds too long. there's usually pretty much to do on the ship, so you never really have to worry about getting very bored. i can't find much to complain about. as cruises are kinda famous for, everything you do you're gouged on price. every single thing that comes up, just plain costs more than it should. we paid like almost $30 each just for an unlimited soda card to use at any bar on the ship, but we realized during the cruise we should have all just bought one or something and passed it around, cuz i'm not sure i spent $30 on cokes. the alcoholic drinks luckily aren't too ridiculous, though i'd imagine when you show up in duty-free ports once a week, you can stock the whole boat with hard liquor pretty goddamn cheap. overall i'd recommend carnival cruises to people, just as long as you expect to shell out the cash.

as far as how i/we/the group spent the cruise, i'm overall pretty pleased. admittedly i drank a lot on the cruise. i knew i wanted to i guess, but in hindsight i sorta realize how much i drank during those 5 days. nothing i really regret, but wow this spring break sure was flammable. as far as alayna and i, i think we did fine. we got on each other's nerves by the last day or so and i was ready to be back on solid ground, but given the scenario (with each other 24/7) everything went well. we had a number of romantic situations and she was obviously very moved by them, and i know she geniunely loved having me along for their trip. the whole group was pretty tolerable, all pretty nice people on the whole. it was fun getting to meet everyone, knowing some of them could end up showing up at our wedding or something some day. always good to network with those in-laws, eh?

pardon the length, but i had to explain a whole week's worth of shit, hoo-ah?

i'll post more later about what i've been up to since mexican intoxication.

cheers,
justin

Wednesday, March 10, 2004

figured i'd at least take a second to post amidst everything lately.

it never fails, all 4 years of college the week before spring break is always one of the worst weeks of the entire schoolyear. profs always wanna get something or other done before we all go off and forget everything for a week, so you're almost always sure to have a busy week before. it's been busy this week, gave a speech today and i've got a big 30% midterm in networks on thursday, as well as an automata homework that i know i'll hafta turn in after the break.

prolly kinda redundant to say i know i haven't gotten proper sleep at all lately. in fact i'm starting to think that lately even on the weekends i don't seem to sleep properly anymore. it used to be i'd sleep 4-5 hours a night during the week and then a good 10 hours each night of the weekend, but i haven't even been doing that. lately it feels like i'm averaging more like 3-4 hours each weeknight, and it tends to be either from like 9pm-1am or something like 6-10am. then on the weekends a lot of times i'll miss my window to go to sleep (either cuz we're drinkin or i just don't feel like sleeping) so i'll end up going to sleep at 8 or 9am and blow the whole day.

that's kinda what we did this weekend, and we prolly shouldn't have in hindsight. i can only speak for myself, but i think i've had more to do than i thought i did this week and any errands we needed to get done prolly should have been done over the weekend. stuff that i should do before spring break, like a haircut or buying shit, i'm not even sure if i'll be able to cuz i'm pretty swamped this week.

can't remember how much i've mentioned this, but next week i'm going with alayna and her family/their friends on a cruise to playa del carmen and cozumel from galveston from saturday to thursday morning. never been on a cruise or to mexico (other than tijuana) so it'll all be a new experience to me. so alayna and i gotta get to san antonio to join up with the rest of the group and then leave for galveston sometime saturday for our 4pm departure. our plan is to leave sometime after lunch on friday, so i don't know yet if maybe i'll try to go run some errands early friday or maybe try to work on the automata homework, i dunno. we definitely don't wanna leave again so that we might get stuck in a 2-hr traffic jam once we hit san antonio, but we'll hafta see i guess.

it hasn't been really the toughest of semesters, but it's pretty much standard for me. i wish now that i had gotten into a maymester speech class back in dallas at collin county, cuz that class fuckin blows here and it would prolly save me a lot of trouble not to have that. sure would have been nice to have 13 instead of 16 hours, but i guess there's not much i coulda done, since that maymester class filled up before i was eligible for registration. i'm sure most people think public speaking in general blows, i mostly just don't like it here for how specific it is, not really so much how awful it is to speak in front of people, cuz you can tell they're barely really paying attention anyway. i'm sure i do it all wrong, but i usually hafta pull a massive all-nighter the day before my speech to practice and get things right, and by the time my speech time comes i'm so ready to get it over with and so tired that i'm sure it affects my performance. i'll prolly get a C in there, but i mean i guess that's alright. i kinda would have liked to be able to say "yeah i only got a C in calculus my freshmen year, i was just a baby" but what does it really matter? 3 years from now i'm not even gonna remember my fuckin GPA. my guess is i'll prolly end up with a flat 3.0 this semester, which is more than enough. i don't really need any certain GPA this semester, but it's a good feeling knowing i can get away with even like a 2.0 or something, just in case things turned really bad in some classes somehow.

surprisingly so far this semester i've done fine. i semi-bombed my first speech, but like i said i'll still pass the class. i got an 88 on the ethics midterm, a good 11 points higher than the average, so i could have a shot at an A in there given the tests are the hardest part of the course usually. i got a C that will be curved to a B on an automata midterm, which i was pretty thrilled about really. i've been going back and forth on the 2nd and 3rd best courts in racquetball lately, so that's working out well too. it's no big secret tho that when i've gotta come into class on either no or very little sleep that i'm not gonna play all that well. today was one of those... when in with basically no sleep and got skunked 11-0 my first round, looked like i was swatting flies out there. i just laughed it off tho and told myself i knew that'd happen. ya can't really get that frustrated when you realize you're dizzy just walking around campus, let alone playing a competitive racquetball match. and yes, i do have one class where i have yet to do anything in there yet i'm still relatively sure i'll wind up with an A, which rocks. we kinda all deserve a class like that tho in our last semesters, as sort of a thank you from the universities, if ya ask me.

it's been tough getting to the rec lately, even tho we wanted to hit it up plenty before spring break. we've done great about getting there when we can, just that it's the "when we can" part that hurts us, cuz we're usually pretty busy. but like last week for example, i played at least an hour of racquetball for 3 days of the week, then lifted weights on 2 other days, so that seems pretty damn active if you ask me. i'm looking forward to coming back from spring break with a good tan, which will ALWAYS help your self-esteem when it comes to weight lifting, heheh.

hoang had recommended chapelle's show a while back, and he's right, it's good. watched a couple tivo'd episodes yesterday and laughed my ass off. i'm trying to get some of the first season dvd-rips through bittorrent now. lauren and laura (along with an ever-reluctant alayna) had a good time watching the first 5 episodes of arrested development, i think i've sorta gotten them to like it, given that they watch it live now. somehow i gotta find time too to watch all 14 episodes of dead like me. alayna and i have stuck with airline on a&e so far, but it's starting to get pretty piss poor. like tonight they had a bunch of wannabe kids trying to find eminem in a chicago airport and the show made a huge deal about how disappointed they were and shit. it's mostly just running out of compelling stories and starting to look pretty lame, not sure if we'll stick with it or not.

my SD wi-fi card for the PDA came in today, so i'm looking forward to trying that out on campus. just a little tip, if you're in like the eastern half of texas, use buy.com. they seem to frequently have pretty solid deals on the shit i buy and i have yet to pay any tax with them, yet they've been shipping me crap from dallas, coming here hella fast. i got a shipment notice today at 4:20pm and i had already gotten it from FedEx at 1:30pm. my TDK HO minidiscs came in too, sexy as hell boy. i also ordered a couple gamecube strategy guides from amazon (shockingly, the first time i've ordered from them) to help motivate me to finish some games. i know i could just look at faq's online, but having a printed shiny color copy will help me play the games a bit more and finish them.

haven't decided yet if i'm gonna go back to dallas in april or not. could look at more apartments then but i dunno how much of a priority it is quite yet. i'll prolly end up going back just cuz this semester i've only been back for my birthday in february and if i don't go that will have been only going back once in about 4 months, which is kinda sad, even for a senior.

i've started trying to post some of my digital pics here but it's a big work-in-progress. basically i wanna be able to upload all the pics i take into each event so that they can be referenced quickly.

i guess that's about all i can think of for now, just wanted to update before spring break really. ya won't hear from me for prolly a good 10 days from now, heh.

rgds,
justin

Tuesday, March 02, 2004

jesus, 4 posts in the month of february. and this is called "daily musings," right? my ass. i'm kinda busy, but not THAT busy, y'know?

shit, let's see what i've been up to since feb 16th... i turned 22, that's something, right? link to alayna and lauren's blogs for more info if ya give a crap. i'm thinking what else has gone on...

i picked up an HP iPaq h1945 the other day using some birthday/valentine's related cash. so i'm one step closer to being a certified computer science dork, i guess. i dunno, it'll help me get organized, or at the very least let me play videos in class, heh. i half-talked lauren into getting a gamecube herself, so she picked one up along with sonic heroes. that was a good move on her part, she should have plenty of fun with it in her dorm. i picked up final fantasy: crystal chronicles, only played it for like an hour so far (is this really surprising anymore?). seems pretty decent, nice graphics and everything, just hafta see how much i get into it. back years ago for ps1, i got into FF7 for a while, but shit man as much fun as i had i didn't even stick with it past the first disc. btw, a game should not have 3 goddamn discs, alright? final fantasy always has badass characters tho, sheeeat...

i also got the director's series dvd's of michel gondry, chris cunningham and spike jonze. they're all my type of shit, just mostly my favorite music videos with good commentary and supplements. i also pre-ordered kill bill vol 1, the matrix revolutions (really only to round out my trilogy) and the first (and only) season of playmakers. i'm interested in the new bond game for GC, everything or nothing. we'll see.

i picked up a cheap $10 neon CPU fan for veritas and so far it's worked like a goddamn charm. so now i've got veritas and aequitas running problem-free side-by-side and it's been great so far. i've kept the linux box just busy all the type downloading torrents, mostly tv shows. can't get bored now, got shows like dead like me, arrested development, curb your enthusiasm, sealab 2021, home movies and alias stockpiled. i've also downloaded a bunch of decent albums lately, like:

feeder - comfort in sound
fountains of wayne - welcome interstate managers
incubus - a crow left of the murder
jet - get born
the white stripes - life on the flipside
all 3 veruca salt albums
zebrahead - mfzb
five for fighting - the battle for everything
stereolab - margerine eclipse
zero 7 - when it falls
gus gus - this is normal
the vines - winning days
lost in translation OST
clerks OST

slowly but surely (believe me, i spend more time getting more shit than actually using what i've got) i'm making some progress on my interests. i'm happy to have just 5 more cowboy bebop episodes left. great series and all, but c'mon, ready to move on. noir's good, i've watched a couple of those now. getting close to halfway through hellsing, which has also been pretty impressive. i got a couple of highly recommended anime movies as well, like nausicaa of the valley of the wind and laputa castle in the sky.

i've been doing my best not to let school drag me down. without fail, every semester here there's always been some point where you feel pretty down and that every class is kicking your ass somehow. i'm trying to take it all a little less seriously this time around to avoid that, and so far it's pretty much worked. sure i'd love to have some astronomical gpa, but the important thing is i'm locked for a job and i've done pretty well overall. gotta send a quick 'fuck you' to any 4.0 students in their last semester. there's no way i could keep up that in my last semester if i've got a job lined up.

things haven't really gotten much better on the social front, but i try not to let it get me down as much as last semester. i'm spending less time trying to convince unwilling acquaintances to go out and do something, not sure if i'll go out of my way from now till graduation to change that or not.

that's actually one reason why i've been avoiding entering into my blog. looking back i'm sure everybody thought i vented too much on here about the frustrations i was having with other people and honestly i don't really know how much good it did me to tell everyone about it. compared to last semester, i can say i don't try my hardest anymore being social around here. often i sleep weird hours that alienate me from other people and i don't care. i don't know what other people wanna do cuz i've already tried in the past to suggest things and get nowhere.

i don't want to come across like i won't miss being here, cuz i will. i've had some great times here and everything and i'll remember 'em for quite a while. but it's not like me to dwell over stuff like that too long. i'm too realistic of a person to just be able to look back at these 4 years and know that despite any academic triumphs, in a social sense it was mostly a disaster. never had any problems getting girlfriends or anything, but ya can't spend all your time with one person. that'll be my greatest lesson learned from college i think. i appreciate everyone's comments regarding joining organizations and trying to branch out and such, but that's not exactly what i'm looking for. in k-12, i never had any problems finding friends with common interests as mine and thus building a decent friendship. just tired of the idea that you've gotta sell yourself to people at this stage just to become friends. friends i've made like hoang and rick, i don't have to try with those guys. i'm myself and they're themselves and we don't hold back what we're into and what we don't like. none of it is sugar-coated and that's exactly what i want. i'm not really looking for the on-the-surface bullshit where i can't tell you how i feel about certain things and actually talk to you.

i'm pretty happy here with about 2 and a half months till graduation. the only thing that gets me down is knowing that everyone else will have to say goodbye to all the friends they've made here, while i won't have to do much of that. i've met hundreds of people (yes, hundreds) at a&m that i knew personally for maybe 4 months at a time and then never talked to 'em again. not exactly the kinda people you give one last handshake or hug to.

eh, who knows. nobody's really listening anyway.

rgds,
justin